A few days ago a spry old man from the coal fields told me his story. I didn’t catch his name, but let’s call him Jerry.

Jerry was born in a coal camp near Mingo County, one of eight children. His father spent 25 years in the mines before succumbing to black lung. At a young age, this man knew he didn’t want to work in the mines, so when he was old enough he joined the military.

In the military, almost every man Jerry met expected our boy would be an ignorant bumpkin with a propensity towards moonshine and incest, given what they had heard about those “coal-mining hillbillies.” However, when the brass handed out promotions, they went to him first, and and he quickly found himself in a position of responsibility.

After fighting in what he called a “horror of a war,” he returned to the states, where he began working as an insurance investigator. This work took him all over the country and he said he always tried to represent mountain people well wherever he went.

Jerry was particularly proud of one exchange he had with his boss, a New Jersey man with unfavorable preconceptions about Appalachian people. After working with him for some time, his boss once asked him: “You work harder than any of these other guys. I underestimated you. Where did you get your work ethic?”

Jerry replied: “the coal camp.”

I must have one of those faces, because people like to tell me tales. I smile, nod, and sip my coffee while they tell me how their brother allowed their mother to die of neglect, how their husband got drunk and bought an airplane, or how their ancestors ended up in West Virginia by hitching a ride on a whiskey wagon.

As an exercise for me and an entertainment for you, I’m going to start sharing some of these tales here.

I make no promises as to the frequency  or veracity of these anecdotes. However, I’ll do my hillbilly best to make them short, cohesive, reasonably frequent, and at least mildly compelling.

P.S. If I know you personally, I’ll do you the courtesy of asking permission before publishing to my little blog.

So that each piece will stand alone, the first Told Tale will be in an upcoming post, either tomorrow or the next day (or whenever I get around to writing it).

Terminus, home of the Foundation, is a planet whose sole purpose is to ride out the dark ages that rise in the wake of the collapse of the once-mighty Galactic Empire. Populated by scientists and their families, this tiny beacon of rationality and progress at the edge of the known galaxy is surrounded by four planets whose attitudes towards Terminus vacillate between disdain, suspicion, and outright hostility. The political leaders of Terminus, however, do their best to abide by the words of their founding psychologist-prophet Hari Seldon:

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”

If you’re a tiny planet surrounded by hostile monarchies (space barbarians) with no military, no ore, and only a population of brainiac scientists, how do you survive? For the planet Foundation, it’s by convincing your hostile neighbors that they’re better off accepting the Religion of Science (and its  accompanying gifts and priests) than turning you into a vassal state. Of course, since your leaders are clever, all your gifts are designed to make the giftees dependent on you, so that when your barbarian neighbors inevitably begin to act like shitheads, you can simply turn off your gift’s nuclear power and leave them without lights that burn, ovens that cook, and knives that cut.

The story of The Mayors (Part III) illustrates nicely Foundation’s approach to diplomacy.

The Mayor of Terminus has a problem: he’s facing growing hostility from his strongest neighbor, Anacreon, and the political opposition at home says that he should stop trying to appease them with gifts and start building up Terminus’ military. Being a tiny planet with few resources besides brains, Hardin knows that to build a defense force would be an exercise in futility.

When a derelict “magnificent colossus” of a spaceship is found (a remnant of the Galactic Empire; think Imperial star destroyer), Hardin has it repaired and outfitted with new technology, named after the regent of Anacreon, and gifts it to very planet who threatens to dominate Terminus.

The regent of Anacreon isn’t opposed to betraying the people who have given his planet nuclear power, the source of their light, heat, and other household conveniences. Yet, his plan to attack Terminus during the coronation of his nephew with the gifted ship backfires when the palace lights fade. Hardin, who happens to be on hand for the coronation, smiles at the regent and tells him that not only have Terminus’ sympathizers shutdown power for the entire planet, but the colossus will travel no further.

The regent, being a “man of direct action”, commits suicide and the Terminus is safe for yet another day.

At first I found the structure of this book irritating, as the already thin characters I had grown to know and, if not love, then at least appreciate, were no longer a part of the story. However, to tell the history of a future civilization, it’s necessary to have a constantly-changing cast. The one character who remains a constant throughout this book is Hari Seldon; his holographic image appears during times of great crisis to reassure the present leaders that everything is going according to his projections.

If Hari Seldon appeared in the U.S. today, I wonder what he would say.

The Foundation Trilogy is book 8 on the NPR Top 100 Science-Fiction and Fantasy book list. 1 down, 99 to go. 

I’ve decided to read every book in NPR’s Top 100 Sci-Fi and Fantasy Book List then write a short post about each book. I can’t make any promises regarding frequency of updates, but I should be able to post about this project twice a month.

Why would I do this?

1. I like to read sci-fi and fantasy.
2. This will provide easy fodder for content here.
3. I’m not above using gimmicks to attract readers to my modest little site.
4. I have an infant who likes to sleep on my chest while I read.

First, a few ground rules:

• I will write400-500 words for each book, but…
• I’ll read the first one. (The Xantha series comprises 36 books, so you can see the sense in this)
• I intend to finish this project by the end of 2014.
• In most cases, I won’t re-read a book I’ve already read (I’ve already read 27 of the entries)
• Almost everything else I’m working on will take precedence over this project.

If you’d like to follow me on my quixotic project, join the other cool kids and signup for email updates.

Goodbye, Old Angkor is now available in the Kindle Marketplace. Click here to check it out. 

Here’s the cover art I created in Illustrator:

I’ll upload the free version in a couple days.

Hey friends,  I just posted a new story called “A Good Family” on my fiction page. This is a story about a groundskeeper, his 1% overlords, and a pen full of pissed-off ostriches. I hope you enjoy it.

NPR asked its readers to submit their choices for the top 100 science fiction and fantasy books.  I’d say I’ve read about 30% of the books on this list. Currently on book 4 of the Song of Ice and Fire, though finding it a bit of a drag.

Check out the Top 100 Science Fiction and Fantasy books, according to NPR readers.

Whether you call it historical-flash, fish-out-of-water, clash of cultures, or sheer freaking fun, Prufrock451 has created one of the best story threads I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Check it out.

Yesterday a retired couple came into my work and began talking their daughter. They said she just started working as a Spanish teacher in a Memphis high school and, after only a month, is demoralized and considering a career change.

Why?

Because, according to this couple, many of her students don’t know the alphabet.

The English alphabet.

How are they supposed to learn a second language when they don’t know the fundamentals of their first?

I wish this couple was just blowing smoke up my hillbilly ass, but this is doubtful. This anecdotal report just underscores our nation’s atrocious literacy rate. According to a Livescience post on Dept. of Education findings, 14% of adults are functionally illiterate.

After a couple (admittedly unfocused) months of technical wrangling with the machine elves, I finally managed to set up the back end infrastructure necessary to upload high-quality recorded versions of my fiction and create a podcast. Here’s the first story, Terminus:

You can also read this story online or download a .pdf version of Terminus over here